So when "them" is out of the way, then why would I be nervous? When my focus is not internal? All this stuff, all the fear, all the anxiety, it's you-you, me-me-me-me-me-me. Kick that out of the way and just focus on "What can I give?" "What kind of value can I deliver?" That's it. Focus on that, the fear disappears. It's all gone. You want to feel nervous, you won't. Because it doesn't matter. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/04/18/don_t_accept_rape_campaign_uses_dark_acceptance_letters_to_fight_campus.html And that's why I break all the rules. You know, in public speaking, Toastmasters. You know, hands, don't put them in your pockets, you're not supposed to use profanity, you're not supposed to do this, all these rules, I don't give a damn about those rules.
My rules are: Am I delivering value? Am I being effective? Am I being an effective communicator? And is my message getting through? If it is, I keep doing it. If it doesn't work, the audience, then I will know. Then I will stop doing it. Everything else, I do not care. This is all noise. Does that make sense? - [audience] Yes. - [Dan] Yeah, so, don't focus on yourself, focus on the audience. https://www.adweek.com/creativity/college-acceptance-letters-get-seriously-dark-beginning-one-harvard-crimson-170883/ Focus on the audience. What's the objective? Why are you even there? Why, what gives you the right to be on the stage? What are you there to do? If that is clear, everything else is easy.
Yes? - [audience] Yes. - [Dan] So, this little ritual that I go through myself. Now, every time, how many of you have been with me more than three, six months? Yeah. Okay, you notice, every time before we start, where am I? - [audience members speaking] - [Dan] I'm in that room, usually. That's, I call it my green room. I'm not here socializing, not that I don't want to socialize. Afterwards, https://www.lemonde.fr/big-browser/article/2016/06/08/le-proces-pour-viol-qui-captive-les-etats-unis_4942345_4832693.html you can ask questions, I will socialize all you want. But before that, I need some me time. What do I need? - [audience] Me time. - [Dan] I need some me time to focus. So, let me share with you my ritual, yeah? What I go through. So, in that room, and this is like, pretty private stuff. But I'll share that with you.
So, in that room, what I go through, I go through a couple of things. First of all, in order to not focus on myself, to focus on the audience, I will do a very quick visualization exercise. And here's what I visualize: I close my eyes, I will do it like that, and I will visualize https://www.sueddeutsche.de/bildung/studium-tut-uns-leid-dass-sie-an-der-uni-vergewaltigt-werden-1.2957836 a big bright white light, beaming from the sky, to me, through here, through my forehead, my hair, through my whole body, so I become a big, bright, white light. From there, then I visualize from this bright light and it will get brighter and brighter and brighter, and it will shhhhhhh fill the whole room.
That's what I visualize, it will fill the whole room. And in my mind, my intention is, I'm going to make sure everyone who comes to my presentation, to my workshop, my speech, every single person is going to walk away with some kind of value. Even though they might not https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a57174/unacceptable-acceptance-letters-campaign-campus-assault/ agree with my message, even though they might not like me so much, but I guarantee, my job, my intention is, they're going to walk away with some kind of value. That's it. See how that shifted all the focus off of me? And just focus on the audience.